My Child
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: Leland's thoughts about Jennifer his firstborn and only daughter . It has a surprise ending


Disclaimer: I don't own Monk or any affliated characters... well except Jennifer since I gave her her own personality **

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I never dreamed that one little life

_"Mr. Stottlemyer," the doctor said_

"_Yes that would be me," Leland replied_

"_Come and meet your daughter"_

**Could bring so much joy to my world**

_He had never seen such a tiny child. It was his firstborn so he didn't know what to expect. All he knew was that he loved her. He loved her more then he ever thought it was possible to love another human being. _

**And now I know the power of love**

_"Karen look at her," he said, "she's so tiny and so beautiful"_

"_She is"_

"_We should name her Jennifer," he said, "after your sister"_

"_Leland," Karen's face lit up, "I would love that"_

**Cause God has sent us an angel above**

_"You're not disapointed are you," Karen asked later that day_

"_Disapointed? Why would I be disapointed?"_

"_Because we had a girl," Karen said, "I know you wanted a boy"_

"_I wanted a boy," Leland admitted, "but I got __**this **__girl and __**this **__girl is better then any boy"_

_He kissed the crown of his daughter's head._

**I never knew there could be so much glory**

_"Daddy look. I can wide a twicyle," 2-year-old Jennifer said riding through the doors of his office._

_He laughed._

"_That's very good sweetheart," he told her, "Now why don't you go ride outside with mommy and later on we 3 can go out for ice cream"_

"_Ice cweam," Jennifer exclaimed excited, "Ice cweam, Ice cweam"_

**Your little hand held in mine**

Even now Leland could feel the gasp of his daughter's tiny hand held in his own. Karen didn't understand. It wasn't that he wanted to give up. It was that he didn't want to hear those five words.

"We found your daughter's body"

At least if he ended the search there was still hope that she was out there, alive somewhere.

**Your beautiful eyes and shining face**

_"Jennifer this is your little brother?"_

"_Oh mommy he's so cute. Can I hold him?"_

"_Sure honey," Karen said and as soon as she was settled on her father's lap she placed the infant in her arms._

"_What's he called," Jennifer asked_

"_What do you think," Leland wanted to know._

"_I like the name Jarred," Jennifer said, "It's the name of one of my friends in nursery school"_

_Karen and Leland looked at each other then smiled. What a perfect name._

**Life's proof of God's Grace**

_Jennifer was six and Jarred was two._

"_What happened to my vase," Karen asked_

"_Oh I acdently ran into it when I was playing," Jennifer explained even though Jareed had actually been the one to break it._

"_Please be careful Jen," Karen said, "now run along. Lunch will be ready soon"_

_Leland had seen what actually happened and when he asked her why she took the blame_

"_Oh," Jennifer explained, "That's cause I know mommy was upset with Jarred for drawing on the walls and flushing her watch down the toliet. I knew she would get mad at him if she knew it was him and I didn't want that to happen"_

_Karen and Leland never got mad but Jennifer had seen that in school and that's just how her friend's mommy looked right before she got mad._

"_You're a very good big sister Jen," Leland told his daughter._

**You are my child**

"LELAND SHE'S NOT A STATISTIC DAMNIT," Karen said, "SHE'S OUR CHILD. SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD AND SHE'S SCARED AND GOD KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER"

"Karen honey," Leland said, "I understand your upset but I am the head of the household and I need to make the decision that I feel is best for everyone"

The glare Karen had given him made him sink into himself. Leland had never used the 'Head of the Household' remark before.

"WHAT ABOUT WHAT'S IN JENNIFER'S BEST INTEREST LELAND," Karen yelled

"Look just calm down and we can talk about this rationally," Leland said

**You are the one**

_When Jennifer turned a year old they threw her a little party. __It was Karen's idea to keep it small. She wouldn't really remember the party, Karen pointed out, and the important people in her life would gather to celebrate her in a quiant little gathering._

**You are the air that I breathe and you are the sun**

_Jennifer developed Pnuominia at age 4. She was so sick she had to be hospitalized. Leland sat at her bedside and prayed every moment. She was the sunshine of his life. If only he could breathe for her. If only he could make her better._

**Through thick and thin I'll be there by your side for all time**

"Alright," Karen said, "I'm calm"

"Listen honey," Leland explained, "what if Jennifer is d e a d? What if we found her b o d y instead of her. How would that affect us? How would that affect Jarred?"

"And what if she's a l i v e," Karen countered, "and she's being t o u r t u r e d or r a p e d or G O D K N O W S W H A T E L S E is happening to her? What if she dies because she's not f o u n d?"

"She's been missing for almost a year now," Leland pointed out, "and you're about to have another baby. By the way if it's a girl we should name it Jennifer."

"NO! Jennifer is alive and I will NOT have you tell me otherwise or anyone for that matter"

Leland saw the tears welling up in Karen's eyes. Even as he looked away he could see it.

"Statistics show she probably-"

"Our daughter is not a stastic Leland. She's our child. I carried her for nine and ½ months. She is our flesh and blood"

"I know honey," he said weakening

"Leland I- I can't give her up"

He reached for her hand and she reluctunatlly took his.

**You are my child. You are the one. You bring new meaning and joy into my life No matter whatever I'll be there forever My child**

_She had only been their child for 8 years but it seemed like forever. _

"_Dad," Jennifer said, "can I go out and ride my bike to the park. I'll only be gone an hour"_

_Leland hesitated for only a moment. The park was less then 5 minutes away. It was still light out._

"_Okay," he said, "but be home by 4 o'clock"_

"_Love you dad"_

"_Love you too sweetie"_

_That was the last time they saw her._

"Okay," Leland said

"Okay what," Karen asked

"Okay you're… you're right. We shouldn't give up. "

EPILOUGE: 4 days later 4 things happened

Max was born

Jarred became a big brother

Karen and Leland became parents to their 3rd child

Jennifer was returned to her family


End file.
